Confessions of a Former Wild Man
by Red Witch
Summary: Logan reflects on his life at the Institute. And wonders why he stays instead of heading for the hills.


**I don't own any characters so forget about making any money off of this! These are just some crazy thoughts in my head. What would go on in Logan's head hanging around the kids all day? Takes place in the Misfitverse series but parts of this could carry over to the regular. **

**Confessions of a Former Wild Man**

Kids. Of all the things I never thought I would be able to deal with kids are number one on top of the list.

I'd have seen myself fighting aliens before this. Fighting creatures from Atlantis. Hunting down ninja turtles. **Anything **but **kids!**

And it's not like I'm exactly the world's greatest role model. I've killed more people than I care to remember (What I **can **remember), I drink like a fish in the world's biggest beer aquarium and let's just say my idea of a good time involves lasers, explosions and motorcycle chases. And that's not even mentioning my…personal life if you get my drift. The only thing I gave up was my cigar smoking, because the Half-Pint kept whining about it saying that it was 'totally gross' and stinking up the place.

Okay I'll give her that. Yeah my healing factor takes care of all that tar and nicotine easily, but still…I guess it was a nasty habit. Self-abusing my body like that. Now I got more to live for.

Oh crap, listen to me. I'm starting to sound like the dad of the freaking Brady Bunch. A very warped and insane Brady Bunch who has a tendency to set fire to the neighbors' lawns.

A warped, insane Brady Bunch that runs to **me **every time things go wrong. Not Charles, the guy who actually **runs **this nuthouse, not Ororo who's practically the most perfect mother figure since Donna Reed, not Beast who's…Okay I can kind of see how they wouldn't go to Beast. That guy has serious issues.

Still who gets all the problems? That's right! No matter what they run to me! Got a problem with your roommate? Come to Logan. Complaining on how it's so tough to be a kid and no one understands you? Come to Logan. Feeling lonely? There's Logan right there to make it better. Got a stupid boo-boo or problems with your crappy love life? Go right to Logan! He fixes everything around here whether he wants to or not!

Even Scott comes to me. Scott Summers, the kid who I swear asks Charles' permission to go to the freaking **bathroom **comes to me. He comes to me with the stupidest questions. Am I being a good leader? Does Jean like me? How do I know if Jean likes me? What's wrong with getting up at four in the morning for an emergency Danger Room session? Why don't the other kids like me? I swear that kid is going to have a nervous breakdown by the time he's thirty, being so uptight and all.

And it's not just the advice. Oh no. That's just the tip of the iceberg. I'm also the freaking handyman, chauffeur, chaperone, emergency medical technician…(if Kitty is cooking), security guard, an ATM machine and occasionally the slayer of spiders.

You heard me. Spiders. This is a real laugh. I live in a mansion populated by teenagers who could easily destroy **countries** without even trying yet they're always crying out to me to kill a stupid little spider. Big bad evil mutants taking over the world? No problem. Teeny little spider in the bathroom? Get Logan and fast! And it's not always the girls that complain about it. I told Iceman that he didn't have a spider bite on his leg! Guess who had to patch that up too?

How the hell did I end up like this? That's what I wanna know. How the hell did I end up Father of the Freaking Year? One day I'm out on the open road with my bike as free as a bird. The next I'm Daddy Logan with all sorts of kids running amok wrecking things. My will to live being the most obvious one.

It's Chuck's fault. It's all Chuck's fault. "Just stay a few weeks Logan to help the students settle in." "This won't inconvenience you." "They won't be any trouble." YEAH RIGHT!

I should have known it was a trap. I could smell it a mile away. But did I run like hell the first chance I got? Nooooooo! I was stupid and stayed. Those kids looked at me with their big eyes and their pouts and blubbering when things went wrong. And I fell for it. Oh god did I fall for it!

Red may look like she has it together, but there are times she just can't handle it. I've seen it. I've seen her lose control and cry and scream and complain about not handling the pressure. Trying to be perfect but hiding your flaws. I'm one of the few people that has seen her not be perfect and lived to tell about it. She's a lot more vulnerable than she lets on to the world.

The Half-Pint is one of those girls who are really smart and perky and you just want to throttle them in the morning for being so damn cheerful and nosy! But then she hits you with those big soft eyes and that puppy dog look and you feel like crawling under a rock for thinking those things. I'm not too worried about her though. She's tougher than she looks. Hell, she keeps Avalanche and Colossus in line. And she has a freaking dragon at her beck and call.

Rogue's got spunk and she's full of life despite her mutation. But she's still a lonely girl and whenever life kicks her in the teeth it makes me feel like my heart's been torn out. Out of all the other kids she's the one that's the most like me. She doesn't take crap from anyone and she knows what it means to be alone and to live with it. But that doesn't stop her from wanting to be loved, to be part of something. No matter how many barriers she puts up, no matter how much she pretends she doesn't care…She does.

The Elf I just don't get sometimes. Out of all of 'em he's got the most reason to be bitter about life and the cards he was dealt with. But he's not. He's the gentlest kid I ever met. He's so damn trusting and full of hope it drives me nuts. I wish had his faith.

Even though Scott annoys the hell out of me: him being so straight laced and all, I respect him. I never met a kid like him. When the chips are down there's no one else I want beside me. He's got heart. And that heart is what makes him great.

And the others…Oh man. They're all equally nuts but they've got an inner strength and power that grows every day.

Unfortunately so do the repair bills. This is the part where I get my headaches. And backaches. And whatever else aches after a Danger Room session. Or a driving lesson. Or the worst of them all…A shopping trip.

So why do I put up with them? Why don't I just pick up and take off. The old me, if I didn't like a place, I left. If someone annoyed me, I beat the hell out of 'em and ran off. That was me. The wild Wolverine. I did what I wanted when I wanted. No rules. No restrictions. Just me and my bike. And that was the way I liked it.

Problem is I can't do that anymore. My life isn't my own. And not just because of the teaching thing and this whole idea of making the world a better place. I've got girls now. Two of 'em. Well one's a clone and the other's sort of adopted but they're still my responsibility just the same.

And they both need me. Yeah Jubilee's wild and has a mouth and X is really wild and is practically an expert assassin but I can't leave them even if I wanted too. Since the Firecracker's parents got murdered I've been the one she's connected with. At night when she has nightmares and cries I'm the one who has to go to her and make her feel that she's home and loved. And X is so warped…Given her past history is so much like mine…I can't abandon her. It would be like abandoning **myself!** In a way I guess that's true…

They've been through so much. They need me too much. And the truth is…I need them. You see all my life all I've ever had was my ability to fight. I was literally a weapon without a purpose. But now I have one. Being around these kids and teaching them has forced me to think about people other than myself. To focus on their problems and stop brooding about my own. It's not just Charles' dream of peace that moves me. Don't get me wrong, that's nice and all but I have my own dream.

My dream is to live and fight the good fight with the people I care about. To make a difference for all those who can't fight back. And to protect the people I've come to love and care about. And maybe just maybe I'll find that inner peace I've been looking for.

Oh crap. I do sound like that dad from the Brady Bunch. Yeah, Psycho Brady Bunch Dad. And now the kids have just set fire to the lawn and blown up the south wall.

Where the hell is Alice when I need her?


End file.
